Awkward Conversations for Equality

I'm telling everyone that New York has an Equal Rights Amendment on the ballot

As someone who has works hard to cultivate a lifestyle that includes working alone from home/no meetings/minimal talking to people, the idea of going out and canvassing for votes is somewhat horrifying to me. I especially did not want to be that annoying person at the farmer’s market trying to catch your eye and hand out a flyer.

But I have spent years writing a book about how women got the vote and specifically, how it took brave women to go door to door or stand up in public and talk about the issues they cared about. Brave women having awkward conversations with strangers is how our rights were won.

And there is a once in a lifetime cause that I care deeply about: New York State has an Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) on the ballot this November. It’s known as Proposal 1 and I encourage all New Yorkers to vote YES for Prop 1.

The New York State ERA/Prop 1 would protect permanently protect New Yorker’s right to abortion in the state constitution and would prohibit discrimination by the government based on a person’s ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, and sex — including their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy and pregnancy outcomes.

In New York state, for a measure like a constitutional amendment to get on the ballot, it has to pass two successive legislatures. If the ERA doesn’t pass, we could try again and it would take years—assuming we held onto a democratic majority in both chambers.

So this is a big fucking deal. It’s worth getting over my anxieties for.  

So I put on my sneakers, my ERA YES t-shirt and met up with Downtown Nasty Women who had buttons and flyers to distribute. There were five of us. We each took a corner of the market and got to work. I became one of those people I always strive to avoid. I did the least New Yorker thing ever and purposely made eye contact with strangers.

Hi! Are you interested in equal rights for all new Yorkers?

Hi! Do you know about the Equal Rights Amendment on the ballot this November?

Here’s what I noticed:

Most people ignored me. I do not take the rejection personally.

Older women and men were the most likely to stop, listen and take my flyer.

Young women had their headphones in and they did not have time for me. They would not make eye contact. And I get it—as a young woman once trying to avoid accidental eye contact with men who might take it as an invitation, I just got in the habit of refusing eye contact with anyone. But LADIES!!! We are the ones who have the most to gain with this amendment.

But HOPE! Halfway through my shift, a young journalism student from Columbia approached me. Could she interview me? Hell yes. We did the interview. We gave each other hope and confirmed that we were not crazy for caring about this issue. And I got a sense of how it all worked: I reached maybe a hundred voters. But one of them was this journalism student who was going to reach a hundred more.

There were moments when it was totally dispiriting and demoralizing to have people say “no thank you” to “equal rights for all new Yorkers.” But oh what a win when someone stops! And takes the flyer! But I felt so high walking home—it was like the high of performing or a really good workout.

I cared. I showed up. I did a scary thing. And I was totally fine.

So please, check what exciting extras are on your ballot for this November. Research it now instead of via a panicked google search in the voting booth. If you can, sign up to phone bank, canvass or write letters to voters.

And if you’re a New York voter, please VOTE YES on PROP 1 and tell your family and friends to do the same.