The fight for women’s rights in America was powered by female friendship and collaboration. These women got together for a series of conventions, meetings and gatherings. They invited their friends over for tea and to hear from a radical traveling speaker. These women worked side by side in offices, together they lobbied representatives, and even spent time in jail with each other. I imagine that there must be hundreds of thousands of these female friendships in the fight for women getting the vote.
It can sometimes feel like the dominant narrative we all get is one where women are pitted against each other, so I think celebrating these stories of women working together as friends is quite radical and wonderful.
Here are three truly legendary friendships in the fight for the vote:
Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony
These two radical activists were introduced by a mutual friend, Amelia Bloomer, during a chance encounter on the street in the town of Seneca Falls in 1851. It was one of those unremarkable occasions at the time (Elizabeth’s thoughts on the occasion years later: “She looked nice, why didn’t I invite her to dinner?!”) but it’s now commemorated by a statue 170 years later.
“I forged the thunderbolts and she fired them,” Elizabeth famously said of her friendship with Susan. Elizabeth was the radical thinker, the brilliant writer, the insanely busy full time mother of seven. Susan was happily unmarried, a strong editor and willing to mind the house and watch the kids to give Elizabeth time to write. Plus, Susan was keen to travel extensively, giving speeches and organizing meetings all in service to “The Cause.”
They made a great team, each enjoying the work the other didn’t care for. They still fought, however. When collaborating on The Complete History of Women’s Suffrage, they would have shouting matches in the library, then go for along walks outside to cool off, and would be seen striding across the lawn arm in arm on their way back to work. Whatever they fought over had been resolved.
The dark spot in their epic friendship was in the 1890’s, when the suffrage movement had grown more conservative while Elizabeth lived up to her promise to grow more radical with age. When Elizabeth was officially censured by the membership, Susan defended her—but did not resign in protest—after more than four decades of being besties. Still, they remained friends until the end.
Alice Paul and Lucy Burns
Alice and Lucy met in jail. As one does. Both were Americans who had traveled to England for University and ended up joining the Pankhursts and the radical English suffragettes. Both Lucy and Alice had been arrested for “demonstrating.”
Upon returning to America, they were both disappointed in the American suffrage movement—it was too slow and polite and fixated on slogging through state campaigns to get women the vote instead of fighting for a Federal Amendment. So Lucy and Alice teamed up to take over and to bring the militant methods to America.
Alice Paul was pale, slender, and a workaholic relentlessly focused on getting the vote. Lucy Burns was tall, vivacious, and a great speaker. Alice was uncompromising and allergic to small talk. Lucy was the diplomat. They worked side-by-side for years, filling in for each other as needed. They both went to jail—again—in the fight for the vote. They both endured hunger strikes and violent force feedings. They both fought with body and mind to get women the vote. I think you need a good friend by your side to stick with the cause under conditions like that.
Carrie Chapman Catt and Mary Garrett Hay
Carrie Chapman Catt first became radicalized as a young girl when she saw the men in her family going off to vote, but her mother staying home. Years later, Carrie would find herself the leader of the National American Women’s Suffrage Association, chosen by Susan B. Anthony herself to be in charge. She was a brilliant organizer, speaker and leader.
Carrie and Mary, a community organizer, met a women’s rights convention (of course). They both worked as speakers, leaders and organizers. After Carrie’s husband died (who happily supported his wife in her suffrage work), Mary moved in. And she…stayed. Forever. I think Carrie and Mary may have been more than just friends ;-)
They are buried together at Woodlawn Cemetery in New York. Their shared tombstone reads: “Here lie two, united in friendship for 38 years through constant service to a great cause.”