It's one of my least favorite tropes. But there are a few great ones like Lois McMaster Bujold's Cordelia's Honor, where they are literally enemies, from different civilizations. and of course Pride & Prejudice. I'm not going to count Ali Hazelwood's books, which I love, because usually while the heroine thinks the hero is her enemy, he's secretly pining for her, and wants to help her.
You've named one of my all time fav authors who can execute the trope like no other-Julie James. I love her books and characters because she pulls off that balance so well. And I totally agree with you that it can be so subjective-one person's teasing can be another person's bullying depending on interpretation, personal experience, etc. It really depends on the situation and relationship between the people in questions. For me, I can be really sarcastic and snarky with my friends, but that's because we know each other and we both understand where I'm coming from and truly mean no harm, and it goes both ways. There is an underlying layer of trust, respect, and affection. If that isn't there, sarcasm and snark can definitely come off as mean spirited. And that mutual trust and respect takes time to develop. Maybe sometimes the trope doesn't get executed well if the reader doesn't feel the author has done enough to establish that underlying respect and understanding, and it comes off just mean spirited.
I think enemies to lovers trope works well when the two characters have an underlying respect for the other's abilities, etc. Like in Practice makes Perfect, J.D. and Payton butt heads and are at odds, but they both absolutely acknowledge that the other is equally skilled and deserving, as much as it kills them to admit it. It's not all antagonism. In a way the best part of the trope is that the competition, etc helps push each other to do and be better, like iron sharpening iron. And underneath it all, you wouldn't make someone your mortal enemy if you didn't consider them a worthy adversary right?
It's one of my least favorite tropes. But there are a few great ones like Lois McMaster Bujold's Cordelia's Honor, where they are literally enemies, from different civilizations. and of course Pride & Prejudice. I'm not going to count Ali Hazelwood's books, which I love, because usually while the heroine thinks the hero is her enemy, he's secretly pining for her, and wants to help her.
You've named one of my all time fav authors who can execute the trope like no other-Julie James. I love her books and characters because she pulls off that balance so well. And I totally agree with you that it can be so subjective-one person's teasing can be another person's bullying depending on interpretation, personal experience, etc. It really depends on the situation and relationship between the people in questions. For me, I can be really sarcastic and snarky with my friends, but that's because we know each other and we both understand where I'm coming from and truly mean no harm, and it goes both ways. There is an underlying layer of trust, respect, and affection. If that isn't there, sarcasm and snark can definitely come off as mean spirited. And that mutual trust and respect takes time to develop. Maybe sometimes the trope doesn't get executed well if the reader doesn't feel the author has done enough to establish that underlying respect and understanding, and it comes off just mean spirited.
I think enemies to lovers trope works well when the two characters have an underlying respect for the other's abilities, etc. Like in Practice makes Perfect, J.D. and Payton butt heads and are at odds, but they both absolutely acknowledge that the other is equally skilled and deserving, as much as it kills them to admit it. It's not all antagonism. In a way the best part of the trope is that the competition, etc helps push each other to do and be better, like iron sharpening iron. And underneath it all, you wouldn't make someone your mortal enemy if you didn't consider them a worthy adversary right?