Yes! Well and thoroughly argued, Maya. I wish it were less common for folks to be ignorant of how much they have benefited from the work of others whose views are different from their own.
It's interesting to me, as I research the 14th century in northern England, to find how much more advanced women's lot was then, in many ways. For example: In Durham County (where my novel in progress is set), widows had a "widow-right" to inherit, for their lifetime, ALL of their husbands' effects -- leases, buildings, furniture, businesses, and all, if they chose. Only if they refused this widow-right or were deemed incapable for some reason (not all that common) did primogeniture kick in. In other parts of England at the time, widows inherited 40% of their husbands' possessions. Further, widows could control their own money and act for themselves legally. (Not sure about keeping their kids, though, as my characters don't have any minor children.)
Thank you for sharing your research--that is fascinating! I did not know that! It really goes to show how inconsistent and arbitrary these rules and laws are over time, how much it matters that we have a say in crafting the rules we all live by, and how change is possible. Good luck with your novel in progress!
With all the historical negative connotation, I really don’t like the words husband and wife, although I use them to avoid confusion. She is my best friend and life partner. We do everything together. All big decisions are made together. She is my ally, and I hope she can say the same about me. I say hope because I’m fully aware of the fact that I’ve been swimming in a sea of patriarchal conditioning full of blindspots.
I get that. I like the word mate for that reason--it implies friendship, love, commitment, a pal through life, what it sounds like you and your partner/mate have :-)
Yes! Well and thoroughly argued, Maya. I wish it were less common for folks to be ignorant of how much they have benefited from the work of others whose views are different from their own.
It's interesting to me, as I research the 14th century in northern England, to find how much more advanced women's lot was then, in many ways. For example: In Durham County (where my novel in progress is set), widows had a "widow-right" to inherit, for their lifetime, ALL of their husbands' effects -- leases, buildings, furniture, businesses, and all, if they chose. Only if they refused this widow-right or were deemed incapable for some reason (not all that common) did primogeniture kick in. In other parts of England at the time, widows inherited 40% of their husbands' possessions. Further, widows could control their own money and act for themselves legally. (Not sure about keeping their kids, though, as my characters don't have any minor children.)
Thank you for sharing your research--that is fascinating! I did not know that! It really goes to show how inconsistent and arbitrary these rules and laws are over time, how much it matters that we have a say in crafting the rules we all live by, and how change is possible. Good luck with your novel in progress!
With all the historical negative connotation, I really don’t like the words husband and wife, although I use them to avoid confusion. She is my best friend and life partner. We do everything together. All big decisions are made together. She is my ally, and I hope she can say the same about me. I say hope because I’m fully aware of the fact that I’ve been swimming in a sea of patriarchal conditioning full of blindspots.
I get that. I like the word mate for that reason--it implies friendship, love, commitment, a pal through life, what it sounds like you and your partner/mate have :-)
This is so well said, Maya.
Thank you :-)