I had to restrain myself from bringing Martha Stewart into this post, but a sequel would definitely be about how she is one of the very few women to make a f**cking fortune off of housekeeping and homemaking. She made it valuable. I think that's why there was a witch hunt to take her town.
Another post that it’s hard to hit the “like” button for, because there’s nothing to “like” about this except for your labor to pull the argument together. Kind of like housework in that sense. I personally am a man who enjoys household labor, particularly making dinner and doing dishes (so finite and accomplishable) and back in the day, having alone time with my sons to free Claire up to do Claire things. We ran wild in a Wolfpack! Your point about dividing and conquering is apt. Equal toilet cleaning under the law: if you use it, you need to help clean it. Is that so hard? Evidently yes, which is maddening.
Thank you for your wonderful comment. This in particular should be on a t-shirt or bumper sticker: "Equal toilet cleaning under the law: if you use it, you need to help clean it."
I also like your point about doing the dishes. I don't think we talk enough about how good it feels to do it because a lot of the tasks are finite, accomplishable and you can clearly see the results. And you can see the benefit someone else gets for it. Cheers to you on household labor!
For my entire career I've been producing stuff for other people to critique/tweak/reject, and occasionally like. So when I reach the end of my workday, my mind always turns to a self-sufficient delight that I can produce: What would taste REALLY GOOD for dinner tonight? It's so satisfying to stand at the stove and feel the creative heat rising. Oooh. Maybe I'll add paprika to those chicken breasts! And doing the dishes is an ASMR avalanche, with all that warm water and gentle clink-clink-clinking. Home chores are an underrated pleasure, even if the job is never actually finished, until you are. But especially: when those chores are not forced, unequal labor, but rather a gift domestic partners give to each other, and themselves.
Exactly! And one of the reasons we find ourselves burning out is that neither we nor anyone around us sees all that Not-Job Work as Work. It just gets rolled up as “life” and then what masquerades as work-life balance still finds us working All. The. Time.
The facts you cite, Maya, in the face of the about-to-be current administration are utterly chilling. I still shake my head at the whole "trad wife" phenomenon. My mom was one of those and it nearly sent her directly into the yellow wallpaper. Thanks for reminding us. You ought to post this quarterly.
Thank you :-) I have not even been able to write about the trad wife phenomenonsence. It's so enraging. Hope your mom is okay. But I will say...imagine if all these broligarchs had to do their own laundry, make dinner and clean up after? I think the world would be radically different.
I had to restrain myself from bringing Martha Stewart into this post, but a sequel would definitely be about how she is one of the very few women to make a f**cking fortune off of housekeeping and homemaking. She made it valuable. I think that's why there was a witch hunt to take her town.
Another post that it’s hard to hit the “like” button for, because there’s nothing to “like” about this except for your labor to pull the argument together. Kind of like housework in that sense. I personally am a man who enjoys household labor, particularly making dinner and doing dishes (so finite and accomplishable) and back in the day, having alone time with my sons to free Claire up to do Claire things. We ran wild in a Wolfpack! Your point about dividing and conquering is apt. Equal toilet cleaning under the law: if you use it, you need to help clean it. Is that so hard? Evidently yes, which is maddening.
Thank you for your wonderful comment. This in particular should be on a t-shirt or bumper sticker: "Equal toilet cleaning under the law: if you use it, you need to help clean it."
I also like your point about doing the dishes. I don't think we talk enough about how good it feels to do it because a lot of the tasks are finite, accomplishable and you can clearly see the results. And you can see the benefit someone else gets for it. Cheers to you on household labor!
Semi-finite (if that’s a thing) —- those dishes just keep on coming, even while in the midst of the washing-up!
I feel like there should be a word for the experience of finding one last dirty dish after the dishwasher is fully loaded and running. Argh!
New word you're looking for: dish-heartening.
Hah!
For my entire career I've been producing stuff for other people to critique/tweak/reject, and occasionally like. So when I reach the end of my workday, my mind always turns to a self-sufficient delight that I can produce: What would taste REALLY GOOD for dinner tonight? It's so satisfying to stand at the stove and feel the creative heat rising. Oooh. Maybe I'll add paprika to those chicken breasts! And doing the dishes is an ASMR avalanche, with all that warm water and gentle clink-clink-clinking. Home chores are an underrated pleasure, even if the job is never actually finished, until you are. But especially: when those chores are not forced, unequal labor, but rather a gift domestic partners give to each other, and themselves.
100% Beautifully said :-)
Yes, that last sentence, Peter. It’s also fine when there is turn-taking rather than the euphemistic “division of labor.”
Exactly! And one of the reasons we find ourselves burning out is that neither we nor anyone around us sees all that Not-Job Work as Work. It just gets rolled up as “life” and then what masquerades as work-life balance still finds us working All. The. Time.
YES!
The facts you cite, Maya, in the face of the about-to-be current administration are utterly chilling. I still shake my head at the whole "trad wife" phenomenon. My mom was one of those and it nearly sent her directly into the yellow wallpaper. Thanks for reminding us. You ought to post this quarterly.
Thank you :-) I have not even been able to write about the trad wife phenomenonsence. It's so enraging. Hope your mom is okay. But I will say...imagine if all these broligarchs had to do their own laundry, make dinner and clean up after? I think the world would be radically different.
Great ‘stack, Maya! Some real gems here.
Thank you!
You didn't know my grandmother.